'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
