The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
