You really coming over, don't trick.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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