Whod you bang
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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