Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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