I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
