Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
