whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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