I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
