he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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