So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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