Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
