I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
