I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
