new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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