Screwed.edu
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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