well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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