NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
