I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
