I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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