She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
