Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
