This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
