when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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