I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
