can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
