she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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