I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
