my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
