it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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