I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
