She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just took my morning after pill in the library
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
