I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So vagazzling was a success
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
