then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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