So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my vag is so smooth its legendary
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
