Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
