This house was built for laser tag.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
