I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The feeling are messing with the penis
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
