1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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