At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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