I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
