It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
