Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I still have a little drunk in my system
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
