You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
