nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
