We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
