I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
