Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
