I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
