Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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