i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
