I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
