Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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