: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
