planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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