you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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