i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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