I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
