so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
