At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
