Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
