I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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