i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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